


So Quite A New Thing

by lavender_love00



Category: Glee
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:47:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavender_love00/pseuds/lavender_love00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fill for a Klainchel prompt by kurtcountertenor on tumblr, it turned schmoopy and I lost my mind. This is ridiculous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Quite A New Thing

“Kurt, I’d like a word, please!” Rachel calls through the thin bedroom door as she exits the steamy bathroom they all share, a short silk robe draped over her and tied at the waist.   
  
She goes to brew a pot of coffee, and finds that one’s already hot and waiting for the three of them - Kurt must’ve set the timer the night before, and even though she’s annoyed with both him and Blaine, she can’t help but feel a little grateful.  
  
She perches at their tiny kitchen table with her lucky gold star mug, tucking her knees under her chin and making sure her heels are pressed against her just so, so that there’s no slip of lace panty from underneath the robe. She is a _lady,_ after all.

It takes a few minutes too long for Kurt to emerge, but he finally does, shirtless, with a pair of charcoal lounge pants hanging low on his hips. It’s obvious he’s not wearing any underwear, and she tries hard not to stare. She might be slightly unsuccessful.  
  
Over the last two years, she and Kurt have gotten more than comfortable around each other, mainly by necessity. It happens when you live with someone in a loft with no walls and one bathroom. The thing is, though, that Kurt’s sort of … _matured_ , since high school. And she knows that he is gay, and that Blaine is gay, and that they are very, very attached to each other, but half naked boys walking around her apartment? Half naked boys of the well-endowed variety, especially? How can that not be at least a little distracting?  
  
She thought it might get a little easier after Blaine had gotten accepted to NYU and had moved in with them into a closet of a 2-bedroom. Sure, it was _miniscule_ , but there were walls! And privacy!  
  
But what she hadn’t counted on were those walls being the approximate thickness of tissue paper. She also hadn’t counted on the stamina and combined sex drives of two gay men in their early 20’s. And she _definitely_ hadn’t counted on being in the middle of a very, very dry spell after breaking things off with Brody while her two best friends get it on, _loudly_ , in the room right beside hers almost every night.  
  
Rachel Berry is _frustrated._  
  
“You rang?” Kurt asks.  
  
“Yes. Sit. I poured you some coffee,” Rachel says, patting the space right across from her. “Is Blaine still sleeping?”  
  
“He is now,” Kurt says, sounding far too proud. Rachel shudders a little. She thinks they maybe need to revisit the concept of _too much information, Kurt_.   
  
“Well. That’s kind of what I’d like to talk with you about,” she tells him, taking a sip of coffee. “I - you know it’s been hard, after Brody -” She breaks off. She’s not shedding another tear over that stupid boy.   
  
“Oh, Rach,” Kurt says, his voice softer now. His hand comes to rest on top of hers, and she graciously lets him squeeze it. She _does_ know how to work him to her advantage.  
  
“I just - I know it’s been four months. And you and Blaine are so _happy_ , and don’t get me wrong, Kurt, I want nothing more than your happiness, but it’s still so _hard_ , and -”  
  
“What can I do, sweetie?”  
  
She flushes. She doesn’t want to, but it’s not exactly something she can help, a physiological reaction like that. “I - maybe if you weren’t quite so loud. Um. At night. It sort of feels like you’re rubbing it in.”  
  
“Quite so - loud?” Kurt asks. “We - oh. _Oh_.” And he promptly turns a brilliant shade of red, his cheeks the color of a candy apple, and _good_ , he should be embarrassed. But then his face twists, a _smirk_ , he looks so pleased with himself, like the cat who got the cream, and Rachel’s more than a little mortified.   
  
She smacks him on the arm from across the table. “ _Kurt!!”_  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he laughs, covering his face with his arms, and she can’t be mad at him because he’s just so damn _cute_ in the mornings, rumpled and not yet put together for the world. The position also gives her a free glance at his bare abs, and _What is wrong with you, Rachel Berry?!?_  
  
She hasn’t had sex in four months. That’s what’s wrong with her.  
  
 _Okay, pull it together_ , she thinks, shaking her head to clear it. Kurt’s still giggling across the table.   
  
“Okay,” he says, finally sobering and taking a sip of coffee. “We can try to tone it down. I promise, we’ll try to keep the _really_ loud stuff to times you’re not here. We didn’t mean to rub anything in your face, Rach. It’s just - it’s _Blaine_ , and he _lives here_ now, and, well, you’ve seen him …”   
  
She smiles. “I have.” _I’ve also seen you_. She takes a huge gulp of coffee to shut herself up before she says something stupid. She really, _really_ needs to get laid.

* * *

  
Rachel’s trying to sleep. She’s trying so hard, and it’s just not working, because there are _noises, oh my god, why are there so many noises_?  
  
She bangs on the wall with her fist.   
  
Sputtered laughing, and a choked, “ _Sorry, Rachel_!” from Blaine.  
  
After that, they’re quieter, but tissue paper walls, and she can still hear them.

* * *

  
The next time it happens, their moans reach her ears and she sits straight up in bed, pulls the box of mementos of all her ex-lovers from under her bed and wants to throw things. Instead, she stands and breaks into an aria she’s been working on at school.   
  
It’s the best she’s ever sung it.  
  
Kurt and Blaine give her a round of applause from their bedroom.  
  
The neighbors don’t quite feel the same, they find out fifteen minutes later when an NYPD officer knocks on their door and informs her that he’s had three calls for noise disturbance at this address. He suggests practicing during daylight hours rather than at two in the morning, and writes her a warning.   
  
“You know if we’d gotten an actual citation, _you guys would be paying for it_!” she yells through Kurt and Blaine’s closed bedroom door after the officer leaves, before stomping back to her bed.

* * *

  
Rachel’s been horny all day. _All. damn. day. long._  
  
She got called out in her stage movement class earlier and looked utterly idiotic, and it was her stupid hormones - she must’ve been ovulating or something - because she was staring in earnest at the TA’s ass rather than following the instructions that he’d just given. And what a fine ass it was. But not so fine that it was worth being mortified in front of her entire class, particularly when that fine ass hadn’t gotten within ten feet of her, and when it was finally over, she left alone, horny and embarrassed.   
  
She’s home now, hanging out of their 13th story window, in the middle of lighting several pictures of herself and Brody on fire.   
  
When she’s finished and the photos are ash, she feels a little vindicated, but the space between her legs still burns as hot as those pictures had. _Fuck_ , she needs to get laid, and soon.   
  
She decides she needs a girls night out, but the only girls she knows hate her, and it’s really not fair to drag Kurt and Blaine out to a straight club where they can’t dance or kiss or sing, and going to a gay club when you’re a horny girl is pointless.  
  
Rachel’s really kind of miserable.  
  
She fixes a pot of organic macaroni and cheese for dinner, the kind shaped like bunnies to make herself feel better, changes into her comfy striped pajamas and waits for her boys to get home.  
  
They get home late.   
  
So late that she’s passed out on the couch, the title screen of _Moulin Rouge_ a bright beacon in their dark apartment, playing the short 30 seconds of the theme on continuous loop. She starts awake with their laughter, and wants to cry - it’s clear they’ve been out, half-drunk on love and adrenaline and just plain _fun_ , and she’s just so lonely. They give her a quick wave, and then Blaine’s mouthing at Kurt’s neck, and he shrugs, apologetic, and Blaine drags him to their room.   
  
Figures.   
  
Rachel brings her wine glass to the sink and turns off the tv, then slouches to her room, prepared for another long night of torture.   
  
With the first low groan to come through her walls, she flinches like normal, but realizes that the burning between her legs from earlier in the day is back, hasn’t ever really dissipated. Wine had dulled all her senses, and she let herself be lulled into love and then sleep by Ewan McGregror, who really is the most perfect Christian that could have ever been cast.   
  
But now in the privacy of her room, the alcohol slowly wearing off and the moans growing louder and louder, she feels the burning tingle grow stronger.   
  
She raises her fist to pound on the wall, per usual, but then stills her hand before it ever makes contact. And, she thinks, _to hell with this._  
  
She closes her eyes and listens hard.  
  
 _Oh Kurt_ , Blaine’s muttering, _oh, there … your fingers …_  
  
… _love you_. _Wanna fuck you …_  
  
Rachel draws in a sharp breath. She feels wrong listening to her friends like this, but she’s asked them on more than one occasion to lighten up and they haven’t, so …  
  
And she’s _so_ horny.   
  
Another moan, and she runs the pads of her fingers over her nipples, already peaked, through the soft cotton pajama top. Her breath comes quicker already.   
  
_Kurt … inside me. Please, I need to feel you …_  
  
Her other hand drifts down toward the waistband of her pajama pants, and she squeezes her eyes shut and plunges it inside. She’ll deal with the guilt tomorrow - right now, she just really, _really_ needs to touch herself.   
  
She doesn’t waste any time - she’s been waiting for this all day, even if she didn’t know it earlier. Her finger makes contact with her clit, and her back arches.   
  
“ _Mmm_ ,” she sighs quietly, spreading her legs, dipping into her vagina and gathering the warm, slick fluid on her fingers. Her other hand slides inside her top, and she pinches a nipple and bites her lip.   
  
_Oh, fuck Blaine, you’re so tight …_  
  
The heat that’s been pooling all day now burns in a throbbing fire between her legs, deep down in her abdomen, and she’s nearly panting as she rubs a gentle rhythm over her clit with her middle finger. She spreads her other hand out, stretching her fingers to rub over both nipples at once.   
  
She lets her mind wander - she knows more than enough of both boys’ bodies to know exactly what they look like naked, and she wonders how they like it. Obviously Kurt’s on top, which doesn’t really surprise her in the least, but she wonders - is Blaine on his back? On all fours? Bent over something?  
  
Really, they’re both too beautiful for it to matter. She spreads her legs wider.  
  
Her answer comes in a somewhat unexpected way a few minutes later, as she’s working hard not to make a sound as her finger picks up speed and her hips rock back and forth. She’s close, it’s building and her muscles are all tense, when _WHAM! -_ the wall shakes.   
  
_Ohhhh god,_ Blaine moans from the other side of the wall, _harder, Kurt._  
  
 _WHAM!_  
  
And she realizes in a fit of _holy shit_ and _god, that’s hot_ , and _please don’t let my portrait fall on my head and kill me, at_ least _not until after I orgasm_ , that their headboard is banging against the wall.   
  
_Oh fuck, Kurt, yeah,_ yeah _,_ **yeah _,_** _gonna feel you in class tomorrow …_  
  
They’re not even trying to be quiet, Blaine’s _yeah’s_ shouted in rhythm with the banging against the wall. Rachel lets out a little squeak as her finger slides inside of her. God, she’s so wet.   
  
She pictures them, Blaine on his knees in front of the headboard, grasping it tight, Kurt holding Blaine’s hips as he slams into him, and oh _god_ , why hasn’t she been doing this all semester? Her finger moves faster, her mouth drops open …  
  
 _Blaine fuck oh I’m not gonna last, you’re so tight, shit shit_ shit **_shit_ , _Blaine -_**  
  
When Kurt comes, it’s distinct and actually sort of beautiful, like he’s singing, and Rachel’s hand stills for a moment just basking in that sound. It’s not like Finn’s stuttered grunting, or even like Brody’s sexy groan that she felt in her _toenails_. It’s musical. Pretty.   
  
But after a few seconds, Blaine’s not sounding so musical as much as _pornstar_ , and god, she shouldn’t be that turned on, but oh, when he starts babbling, her finger flies.   
  
_Kurt oh god your mouth oh fuck fuck fucking_ hell _-_  
  
He lets out a noise that she feels like she’s been waiting to hear her whole life, and her body coils up and she can’t help it, she gasps, and then she’s shaking apart under her own two hands, tweaking nipples and rubbing sweet, sweet friction against her clit and _god_ it goes on forever, clenching and spasming until her calves cramp up and her toes are stuck _en pointe_.   
  
Finally - _finally? Not finally, why can’t this last forever?_ \- it ends, and she relaxes, panting on the bed like she’s just run a marathon. She can hear Kurt and Blaine laughing softly through the wall and she suddenly feels utterly, completely alone, but at least the fire is gone.   
  
And then she sleeps.

* * *

  
Kurt’s flipping pancakes and Blaine’s washing blueberries beside him, an apology breakfast for getting so carried away the night before. He and Blaine were maybe more than a little tipsy, and definitely more than a little loud. He feels bad, because it’s actually something that bothers Rachel, and she’d looked so forlorn and sad on the couch, her mascara stained in tear-tracks on her cheeks.   
  
He really, really wants to make it up to her.   
  
A plate is waiting for her with melted butter and warm maple syrup when she emerges from her room, bright-eyed and surprisingly perky.  
  
“Oh, Kurt, Blaine, you shouldn’t have!”   
  
Kurt gives her the plate, wide-eyed and silent. He’d been expecting to grovel.  
  
“We feel _really_ bad for last night,” Blaine says sincerely, giving her the puppy-dog eyes that always make Kurt melt. “I hope you got to sleep a little, at least …”  
  
“What are you talking about?” she asks.  
  
Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Um, maybe our headboard banging against your wall last night? Don’t tell me you didn’t hear _that_.”  
  
She smiles sweetly back at him. “I didn’t hear a thing, actually. I’ve invested in some top-of-the-line earplugs. I thought it was a good idea since it doesn’t appear that you two will be slowing down anytime soon.” She winks, and flounces over to the table with her pancakes.  
  
Blaine comes over, wraps his arms around Kurt. “Help,” he whispers, sounding nervous. “She’s acting weird.”  
  
“ _Shhh_ ,” Kurt tuts, petting Blaine’s hair. “Just go with it, honey. I’m just glad we haven’t gotten pancakes thrown back in our faces, aren’t you?”

* * *

  
Rachel’s looking at vibrators on the Internet.   
  
It’s a perfectly acceptable thing for a single woman in her almost-20’s to do.   
  
It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with how much she gets off on the noises that float through her wall at night, even louder now that they think she has earplugs.  
  
That is absolutely not what it is about.

* * *

  
She tracks the package online all day, and races home to try to be there before Kurt gets out of his diction class.   
  
He’s just bending down to pick it up when she darts around the corner and grabs it from his hands. “Thanks! That’s mine!”  
  
She gets a weird look. “What’s in there that’s so important?”  
  
“Nothing! Um - early Christmas present! Very big secret.”  
  
He raises an eyebrow at her, his classic move. “Rachel, you’re Jewish, remember? You don’t celebrate Christmas.”  
  
“I know! But you do! And Blaine does! And - I wanted to be part of the festivities this year!”  
  
“…Okay, if you insist.”  
  
Shit. Now she’s got a month and a half to find two acceptable gifts for a holiday she doesn’t even believe in.

* * *

  
The first time she uses the vibrator, she comes so fast and so hard that she doesn’t have time to muffle the noise, and Blaine and Kurt haven’t even had time to really get going yet. Out of her mouth flies a cry so loud that Blaine comes pounding on her door, wondering if she’s alright.   
  
“I - uh - I just dropped my hairbrush on my toe!” she calls, scampering back into her yoga pants.  
  
“At midnight? Why are you brushing your hair at midnight?” Blaine asks through the door.  
  
“Personal hygiene has always been very high on my priority list, Blaine,” she says tersely, hoping he’ll go away as she shoves the vibrator under her pillow.   
  
“…Right,” he says. “Well, I’m going back to bed.”   
  
“Goodnight!”   
  
She hears their door click shut, and buries her face in her hands. She really, really, _really_ needs a boyfriend.

* * *

  
Kurt’s lying in bed with Blaine, idly tracing his fingers over Blaine’s perfect bare chest. Blaine’s humming contentedly, and this could maybe go somewhere (it almost _always_ goes somewhere), but something’s been bothering Kurt and he really needs to talk.  
  
“Blaine, honey?”  
  
“Mmm?”  
  
“Do you think Rachel’s acting weird lately?”  
  
Blaine’s eyes open, big orbs of honey that Kurt wants to swim around in, could drown inside. “Rachel’s always weird.”  
  
“I know, but weirder than normal. I’m worried about her.”  
  
Blaine props up on his elbows, and _god_ , it’s not possible for Kurt to love this man any more than he does right now. “Do you think there’s a reason to be worried about her?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Kurt sighs. “She’s just not acting like herself. Half the time she’s weirdly perky and in a good mood, and she’s been disappearing into her room a lot with the door shut, and I don’t know what she’s doing, but she’s not singing.” A beat. “Do you think I’m overreacting?”  
  
“I think that you are the most caring individual I’ve ever met,” Blaine says, so sweet and sincere, then plants a kiss right now Kurt’s lips. “But I also think that we’re not Rachel’s dads, and if she’s having an issue or a problem, we should wait for her to come to us. Give her some time to figure stuff out. Maybe she’s growing up.”  
  
Kurt laughs. “ _Finally_.”   
  
“Yeah, well, not our fault that we have superior evolution skills,” Blaine says, a twinkle in his eye.  
  
“Superior evolution skills, huh?” Kurt teases a finger down Blaine’s sternum. “Feel like exploring all the benefits those skills might bring?”  
  
“I thought you’d never ask.”

* * *

  
The problem with having a really good vibrator is that Rachel wants to orgasm, like, all the time. She’s getting up to high-school-Finn levels of sex drive, and that’s honestly kind of scary.   
  
Or maybe she’s just catching up with Kurt and Blaine, because they don’t seem to be slowing down _at all_.   
  
She figures, though, that if every woman in the world owned one of these things, this strange, fuschia bean-shaped contraption that makes her see stars, women just might have better sex drives in general. Because the orgasms she gets from it are kind of mind-blowing.  
  
The thing is, though, she misses the intimacy of sex with another person. She misses the whispers and the laughter and the connection, and even her mind-blowing orgasms make her feel less-than-fulfilled.  
  
But Rachel Berry is refusing to settle. Brody just wasn’t good for her, in the end, and the thing with Finn was such a gigantic disaster - part of her heart will always love him, but _no_. Not again.   
  
There’s a guy in her stage-movement class - not the TA with the nice ass, a different one - who keeps making eyes at her, and he’s really cute, but she’s also seen him at a party, wasted and humping a girl against a wall, and she has higher standards than that. There was another guy in a coffee shop that Kurt dragged her to who asked for her number, but nothing ever came of it. So she’ll just have to be patient.   
  
Lucky for her, she’s got a really fucking awesome vibrator and a pair of pseudo-exhibitionist roommates to help out while she waits.

* * *

  
It’s mid-afternoon on a Saturday, and Rachel’s History of Broadway study group finished early. She’s in a fantastic mood - they’d had a great discussion, she feels like she knows the material and is prepared for the test, and she’s treated herself to a hot chocolate on her way home, so her hands are nice and warm.   
  
She’s excited to spend the afternoon with Kurt and Blaine - they didn’t mention plans that morning, so maybe she can talk them into a movie or a karaoke party or something.  
  
But when she opens the door, it’s very clear that they’re in the middle of a party of their own.   
  
_Fuck, Kurt, yeah, just like that_ …  
  
She hears Blaine from the entryway. She creeps forward, peers around the corner.   
  
Their door is open.  
  
Rachel’s eyes grow wide as she silently kicks off her shoes and creeps down the hall, not making a sound. As she gets nearer and nearer to the open door, her heart begins to pound and her face gets hot. This is wrong, she knows, wrong wrong wrong, but it’s like watching a trainwreck - you can’t take your eyes away.   
  
Except this is so much better than a trainwreck.  
  
She stares, slack-jawed, at her two best friends, naked and bathed in afternoon light, standing on the far side of their room, Blaine’s hands braced against the closet door. His legs are spread, he’s bent over just a little, and Kurt is fucking him in earnest from behind. Or, well, if she’s being accurate, Blaine’s fucking himself back onto Kurt’s cock, Kurt’s hands clamped onto Blaine’s hips.   
  
It’s by far the hottest thing she’s ever seen.  
  
“Oh god, _there_ ,” Blaine moans, and she nearly falls against the wall. “Right there, hold that angle, _fuck_ …”  
  
“Mmmm,” Kurt hums, his eyes closed and head thrown back, his voice deeper than Rachel’s ever heard it. “God, you feel good - right there? That’s the spot?”  
  
Blaine arches his back in response, grabs higher on the doorframe of the closet. “ _Fuck, yes_ ,” he whispers, jerking his hips, and Kurt’s dick is swallowed up by his body over and over again.   
  
“Oh god,” Rachel murmurs, then claps a hand over her mouth, but it’s too late. Kurt’s head whips around.  
  
“Oh my god _Rachel_!” he shrieks, then plasters his body up against Blaine’s against the closet. It’s kind of sweet, the way he’s protective like that, the way he doesn’t just pull out, leaving Blaine alone and empty, to slam the door in her face. She sighs, wishing she had a love like that in her life. “You’re not supposed to be home for another hour! Go away and close the door!”  
  
She just stands there, watching the way Kurt’s holding Blaine. Oh, she would love to be held like that. Kurt’s body is curled over Blaine’s back, shielding him yet cradling him at the same time. His hands are on Blaine’s arms now, stroking up and down in a manner far more soothing than matches his voice.  
  
“ _Rachel Berry I am not kidding!_ ”   
  
“I - I’m sorry, I just -”  
  
He turns his head toward her, away from Blaine, glaring now. “Go. Away. We’re obviously in the middle of something, here …”  
  
“I - I wanted to watch.” She squeezes her eyes shut, scared of what his reaction might be. “It’s hot, okay?”  
  
“That’s not funny.”  
  
“I just - I’ll be quiet, I promise, I won’t bother you. You’ll never even know I’m here. It’s just - it’s been so long, and holy _shit_ you guys know what you’re doing and -”  
  
Kurt glares harder. “Rachel, get out of our room.”  
  
“No, seriously,” she says, trying to build a convincing case, “you’re _really_ hot. You could be male models, have you ever thought of that? Or - ooh, even better, you could sit for an art class! You’d make the perfect nudes - Kurt, your _legs_ , they’re just fabulous, and Blaine’s ass is perfect -”  
  
“Do _not_ talk about my boyfriend’s ass,” Kurt snarls.   
  
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. And really, this is your fault. We’ve discussed this at length. If you’d just be quiet like I’d asked you to originally, we wouldn’t be in this pickle, would we?”  
  
“Please don’t say pickle,” Blaine groans, still pressed up against the closet.   
  
She tries hard not to smile, doesn’t succeed. “I don’t think you guys understand. It’s like - _porn_. But better. Because - I don’t know, I know you love each other, and _do you guys understand how hot you are naked_? Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen a naked man? And there’s _two_ of you! Just - god, Blaine’s forearms, and the way he slides over you and the noise you make when you come -”  
  
“ _How do you know how I sound when I come_?”  
  
“I told you I could hear you at night,” she sings.  
  
“You’re not using us as porn,” Kurt seethes at the same time that Blaine gasps, “Can we just let her watch?”  
  
“Excuse me?” Kurt snaps.   
  
“Your dick is in my ass,” Blaine whines, “and I have a _raging_ boner that really, really needs to be taken care of and I just - who cares if she watches? She’s walked in on us before, she walked in on me in the shower last week -”  
  
“ _What_?”   
  
“I was getting my lotion!” Rachel’s quick to explain. “I didn’t do anything!”  
  
Kurt sighs. He’s obviously angry, but he’s obviously also still really turned on, and Blaine’s begging, and it’s clear to Rachel that she’s won. “Fine,” Kurt says. “But we’re talking about this - _all of us_ \- later.” He turns his attention back to Blaine. “Are you okay, honey?” he asks gently, and Rachel melts. They are perfect boyfriends. “Do you need to lie down?” The amount of love poured into the question makes her _ache_.  
  
“I - no, I think I’m okay,” Blaine says, and Kurt unglues his chest from Blaine’s back.   
  
“Okay,” Kurt says softly, then grins. “Where were we?”  
  
Blaine leans back to steal a kiss, and Kurt deepens it instantly, turning it dirty, slipping his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, who’s so hungry for it.   
  
Kurt resumes a gentle rocking, but after a few minutes, Blaine opens his eyes. “You okay?”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Kurt says, turning red and rubbing his fingers over his eyes. “It’s a little distracting, having an audience.” He shoots another glare at Rachel.   
  
But Blaine reaches back, his hand cupping Kurt’s his cheek, and Rachel understands more than ever that the billowing amount of love between them is entirely mutual. “It’s okay, baby. Pretend she’s not even there. Come on, I want you so bad …”  
  
Kurt takes a breath and closes his eyes. “Keep talking.”  
  
Blaine’s voice is barely over a murmur, but it’s clear and doesn’t waver. “You’re so sexy, Kurt. I love you so much. I love the way you feel inside me, I love how you fill me up, I love the way you can still move me, with your voice and your words and your body.”  
  
“ _Mmmm_ ,” Kurt hums, his hips rocking a little harder.   
  
Rachel’s about to spontaneously combust, and they haven’t even hardly done anything yet. Her hand slips into the skirt she’s wearing.  
  
“God, Kurt, you’re moving me right now.”  
  
Into her underwear, middle finger dipping, slick, heaven …  
  
“Fuck, that’s it baby, get hard for me - I can feel you stretching me again, god it’s so good, _fuck_ , Kurt -”  
  
“ _Blaine_.” Kurt’s hips draw back, snap forward, and _Jesus_ , Rachel wants to be fucked like that. It’s been a _really_ long time since she’s been fucked like that. “Blaine, god, you’re still so tight …”  
  
Hand dipping into her shirt, reaching into her bra, drawing out a breast, fingers pinching a nipple …   
  
“ _Oh_ , baby, like that. Just like that, oh _there_ , Kurt -”  
  
She watches, fingers moving faster now, over her nipples, inside her skirt, while Kurt’s fingers slide up Blaine’s torso, pulling him close and brushing over the hair on his chest. Her legs splay wider.   
  
They grow quiet after that, quieter than normal, just little grunts and pants as Kurt’s thrusts pick up speed, and so do Rachel’s fingers. But she needs - wants - more. She quietly scurries into her room and grabs the vibrator out of its hiding place.  
  
Back to her spot on the floor with the perfect view, and Kurt’s balls are swinging back and forth, hitting Blaine in the ass, and she’s never even _liked_ balls before, thought they were hairy and wrinkly and gross, but this is totally doing it for her.   
  
She clicks on the vibrator. It’s quiet, but it’s not quiet enough, and Kurt quickly whips his head around and rolls his eyes as she winks at him. She shoves it in her skirt and bites down on her lip, trying not to moan.   
  
Blaine’s trying not to moan, too. She can tell by his knuckles, turning white as he clutches the doorframe.   
  
Kurt turns his attention away from Rachel and thrusts harder, whispering something into Blaine’s ear that Rachel can’t hear over the blood rushing in her own head.   
  
Blaine laughs quietly and nods, shifting his hips a little, then lets out a moan. Whatever Kurt told him is obviously working for him. Kurt’s getting closer, Rachel can tell, but then so is she, the vibrator pressing against clit and vagina, breast clutched in her other hand, fingers working her marbly nipple.   
  
“Kurt, oh god - oh _fuck_ , yeah - will you -?”  
  
Rachel’s body is tensing up as Kurt’s hand wraps around Blaine’s dick, begins jerking him off without any lube. Finn liked that, sometimes, but Brody _hated_ it. She’s pretty impressed by the noises that Blaine’s making, being fucked and fucking Kurt’s hand at the same time, and she’s even more impressed with his coordination.  
  
“Blaine - Blaine, I’m close,” Kurt gasps, his hips stuttering erratically.   
  
So’s Rachel.   
  
“ _Fuck me_ ,” Blaine whispers, needy and soft, and Kurt does, hauling back and pounding into him, and Rachel loses it first, shaking and biting her lip, trying to be quiet. She holds the vibrator against her clit for as long as she can stand it, her hips bucking in tiny jerks as Kurt thrusts hard and Blaine begins to shake. She’s just starting to come down, almost ready to turn it off when Blaine’s hips pump hard, burying Kurt’s cock in his ass, then pulsing into Kurt’s fist with a shout. It’s the come flying out of his cock, come that she can see, come that splatters the closet door and slip-slides down that really does it, she thinks, and she presses her vibrator against her, turns it to the highest setting, _twists_ her nipple between her fingers, and comes harder than she’s ever come in her life.  
  
Again.  
  
It takes her so by surprise that she can’t think to muffle her voice this time, and she’s gasping and twitching on Kurt and Blaine’s bedroom floor. She’s too shocked to see Kurt come in Blaine’s ass, which is a shame, because she really, really wanted to see his “o” face, but she hears him sing it out, and then sees both of them collapse on the bed, panting.   
  
Nothing’s really registering, because her ears are kind of ringing and she’s still got the buzzing vibrator in her panties, between her legs, and she might just shake apart if she doesn’t turn it off soon. It’s gleaming wet when she pulls it out.   
  
“Will you please go to your room now?” Kurt mutters from the bed.   
  
She looks at the vibrator, shiny with her own fluid, looks up at Kurt and Blaine, hair rumpled and red-faced, sex in their eyes, and for the first time during this whole affair, she’s embarrassed.   
  
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’ll go.”  
  
She stumbles back to her room on fawn legs and collapses on her bed.   
  
She comes twice more that night, gasping through it loudly, the vibrator buzzing soft against her dark and secret places.

* * *

  
“Rachel, get up. We need to talk about yesterday.”  
  
Rachel buries her head deeper under her pillow. Kurt’s outside her door, knocking, telling her to come out. She can’t face them - she _can’t_ , it’s too embarrassing, and she’s still processing the fact that it took watching _them_ to discover her sexual Mecca. Multiple orgasms. Who knew?  
  
 _Multiple orgasms_.  
  
She _still_ feels shaky from it. She still feels kind of glorious, like her inner vixen has finally emerged (and oh my god, _why does it have to be when she doesn’t even have a boyfriend_?) But she doesn’t feel like she can ever look Kurt or Blaine in the eye again.   
  
_Four orgasms._ But did she really have to turn into a voyeur to achieve it?  
  
“Come on, Rach - we’re not mad, we just want to talk, okay?”  
  
No. Never coming out. Never, ever, ever.  
  
“Blaine’s making zucchini bread …”  
  
Okay. Maybe _eventually_ she’ll come out. But only for bread. And then she’s going straight back to bed.  
  
Kurt pauses for a few long moments, and Rachel actually thinks he might be gone. She slowly creeps her head out from under her pillow when his hand slaps against the door, scaring her and making her jump.   
  
“Okay, that’s _it_ , Rachel, I’m giving you five seconds and then I’m coming in myself, so if you’ve got that hideous vibrator out, you’d do well to put it up _now_.”  
  
Rachel doesn’t move.  
  
Kurt opens the door, walks in, sits on her bed. Her head is buried again, but she can feel the mattress sink under her weight. “Come on, sweetie. Don’t be like this.” His voice is gentler than she expected. She scoots down, peeks out of a crack between the pillowcase and her sheet, and sees Kurt peering down at her.  
  
“Oh, fine,” she says, and emerges, trying to smooth her hair.   
  
“Blaine!” Kurt calls. “Come in here!”   
  
Blaine, adorable in a flour-streaked apron (maybe Kurt wasn’t lying about the zucchini bread), appears in her doorway. “Hi.”  
  
“Hi,” she says, hanging her head. “Guys, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me -”  
  
“Look, we don’t want this to be a big deal,” Kurt says, petting her arm. “You were _obviously_ having some weird hormonal fit yesterday, but there’s nothing wrong with having a vibrator - although, _fuschia,_ Rachel, _really_? - or watching porn.”  
  
“We’d just rather not _be_ your porn,” Blaine explains, untying his apron and draping it over her chair. He comes to sit next to Kurt, and obviously, they’ve already had a discussion about this. They’re so on the same page it’s sickening. “It’s - it’s not a great feeling, to be fetishized, just because you’re gay …”  
  
Rachel hangs her head, nodding. “I know. I’m sorry - I feel terrible. It’s not - I don’t think I was fetishizing you because you were _gay_ , I think I was fetishizing because I haven’t gotten laid in a really long time, and I walked in and you were just _there_ , and you’re both really hot.” Her face flushes as she says the words aloud. “But I don’t want to objectify you -”  
  
“Well, you kind of did,” Blaine says.  
  
Kurt smirks and nudges Blaine with his shoulder. “Though we understand why it’s hard not to.”   
  
“I’m sorry,” Rachel says, and she really is.  
  
“It’s okay. And rest assured, if we’re ever feeling particularly exhibitionist, you’re the first one we’ll call,” Blaine says, patting her hand.   
  
“So we’re okay?” Rachel asks. “Can we forget this whole thing ever happened?”  
  
“Of course,” Kurt says. When he reaches to hug her, she knows he’s telling the truth.

* * *

  
Even so, it’s after Thanksgiving break before the boys will walk around without shirts on. It’s not nice to use her friends as eye candy, Rachel knows, but she kind of misses seeing all that skin.   
  
She’s trying to respect them more, trying to keep her own hormones in check, and one night she actually tagged along with some NYADA girls who don’t hate her quite as much as she thought they did, and went to a club.   
  
She’d made out with a cute boy on the dance floor, made out with another in the alley outside the club, but left alone. She still hasn’t gotten laid.   
  
But she _has_ invested in a pair of earplugs, and only on the nights where she can hear Kurt and Blaine through the little orange foam plugs does she get out her vibrator. She thinks it’s only fair - if they’re _that_ loud, they’re just asking for it. And at least she’s not sneaking in to watch anymore.

* * *

  
They’re decorating the apartment for Christmas - Rachel’s lived up to her promise of joining in the festivities - and have already gone through a bottle and a half of wine between the three of them.   
  
Blaine’s wrestling with the strings of Christmas lights under Kurt’s careful supervision when Rachel takes a big gulp of wine and asks the question that’s been rolling around in her mind for a week now.  
  
“Do you guys ever wonder what sex with a girl is like?”  
  
Blaine drops the lights on the floor. “Where did that come from?”  
  
“I don’t know … I’ve just been wondering. We went to that gay bar last week, and I met a bisexual guy there while you were dancing. He told me I was gorgeous, and wanted to know if I’d go home with him and his boyfriend for a threesome.”  
  
Kurt and Blaine are both looking at her like she’s grown a third arm. “You didn’t tell us that!” Kurt squeals. “Why didn’t you tell us that?”  
  
“Why didn’t you _go_?” Blaine asks, earning himself a glare from Kurt. Blaine always does tend to lose his filter with too much wine on board.  
  
“I didn’t want to. You’d worry, and … I don’t know, he seemed a little creepy. I didn’t trust him. But it made me curious - have you guys ever thought of doing something like that?”  
  
“Rach,” Blaine says, “we’re not bi.”  
  
“Nope. Capital G-gay,” Kurt says, sliding his hands into Blaine’s back pockets and squeezing.  
  
“Yeah, but don’t you ever get curious?” Rachel asks, placing sprigs of holly on the table. “Sometimes I wonder what it’s like, having sex with a girl, and I’m capital S-straight …”  
  
“What, are you heteroflexible all of a sudden? Or - Rachel, are you suggesting we have a threesome?” Kurt asks.  
  
“No!” she exclaims, but her mind’s off on a rabbit-trail with the suggestion, amplified by the wine. She pictures the two of them hovering above her, sees herself kneeling in front of them, knows exactly how hard Kurt can fuck. They’d spread her out on their bed, peel lingerie away layer by layer until there’s nothing left …  
  
She fans herself. “Is it hot in here?”  
  
A sly smile crosses Blaine’s face. “You totally want us to experiment with you.”  
  
“I do not! That’s not - I was just wondering, I honestly didn’t have any preconceived -”  
  
“You are a liar, Rachel Berry,” Kurt sings. “And if you think you’re getting any of _this_?” He smacks his ass. “You’re sadly mistaken. I’m taken. Very, very taken.”  
  
“You bet your ass you are,” Blaine murmurs in his ear, and Kurt turns around, kissing Blaine hard on the mouth.   
  
Now Rachel’s grumpy - it’s rude to rub a happy relationship in a single girl’s face, and is she _so_ unattractive that they’d never even _consider_ anything physical with her? “Fine,” she huffs. “You’re just missing out.”  
  
“So you _did_ want us to experiment with you!” Blaine exclaims, victorious.  
  
“No, I didn’t - I just -” she sputters, and they wait patiently. “I was just wondering.” She pauses. “But I bet I give better head than either of you.”  
  
Kurt raises his eyebrows to his hairline. “Oh, I don’t think that’s possible.”  
  
“Why not?” she asks haughtily, holding up a holly sprig. “Finn and Brody _loved_ my blowjobs.”  
  
“Finn and Brody never had their dicks in Blaine’s mouth before, either,” Kurt says smugly. “I seriously doubt you can measure up.”  
  
“Is that a challenge?” she asks, one hand on a jutted-out hip.  
  
“ _No!_ ” both boys shout in synchrony.   
  
Now her feelings are actually starting to get hurt. “But you wouldn’t even need to _look_ at me,” she whines. “It’s not like you needed to be _attracted_ to me. You could make out, and I could prove that I’m good, and you could have the experience of getting it on with a girl, and -”  
  
“End of discussion,” Kurt says, cutting her off. “Not happening, Rachel.”  
  
“Fine, then. Here, you guys finish - I think I’m Christmas’ed out for today.” She slides the box of decorations to Kurt’s feet and finishes off her glass of wine. “I’m going for a walk.”

* * *

  
That night, the warmth of her bed protecting her from the cold outside, Rachel uses her vibrator three times in succession, and doesn’t even try to muffle her moans. She could care less if this time it’s Blaine and Kurt who are hearing _her_ through the walls.

* * *

  
“I think Rachel just had three orgasms,” Blaine murmurs as Kurt grows hard underneath his hand.  
  
“Mmm, lucky her,” Kurt says, rolling his hips up, looking pointedly at Blaine. “I’d be happy with just one for now.”  
  
Blaine takes the hint and works Kurt’s balls over, rolling them gently in his palm. Kurt sighs contentedly, kisses down Blaine’s arm. A pause, and then, “Do you think she actually does give good head?”   
  
“ _Blaine!_ ” He flinches as Kurt smacks him over and over on the arm. “We! Are! Not! Having! Sex! With! Rachel! Listen to her! She doesn’t even make good sex noises!”  
  
“I know, I know!” Blaine exclaims, putting his arms up to block his face as Kurt goes for his head. “Bad timing for that question, I know - I’m sorry. Although, I don’t think her sex noises are _that_ bad …” Kurt grabs his pillow, pelting Blaine in the face. “Okay!” he exclaims, holding his hands up in surrender. “No sex with Rachel! Your sex noises are better!”  
  
“Good. Now, what on earth prompted you to ask that question? Especially when you had my cock in your hand?”  
  
“I was just curious to see what you thought. And - like I said, bad timing. But she seemed pretty confident earlier, and I was just curious …”    
  
Kurt eyes him. “So that was a serious question?”  
  
“I guess …”  
  
“Okay. Well, her mouth is huge, so that’s an advantage,” Kurt says with a straight face, and Blaine snorts. “But - honestly, Blaine, can you really see Rachel swallowing?”  
  
“No, not really.”  
  
“Plus, she doesn’t have a dick, which puts her at a distinct disadvantage. There’s no possible way she could be better than you. You deepthroat like a pornstar.”  
  
Blaine beams and pulls Kurt close so that his back is pressed against Blaine’s chest. “What about her other question? Have you ever wondered?”  
  
“Wondered what sex with a girl would be like?”   
  
“Yeah.”  
  
He feels Kurt sigh in front of him. “Blaine. No. I’ve been gay since I could walk, okay?”  
  
“You’ve never been just a little curious?” Blaine asks, propping up on his elbow.   
  
Kurt turns, glares at him. “We’re _not_ having sex with Rachel.”  
  
“I didn’t say we were. I asked if you’d ever wondered what a vagina feels like.”  
  
“Oh, fine,” Kurt grumbles. “Just once. The time I made out with Britt? Do you remember me telling you about that?”  
  
“Of course I do.” Blaine smoothes Kurt’s hair, tries to calm him down. He doesn’t want to fight about this - it isn’t important enough.   
  
“I wondered then, just for a minute. How it would feel. But that was before I had sex with _you_ , and my mind was blown forever. What, do you wonder?”  
  
Blaine squeezes him close. “Nothing would ever, ever compare to you, Kurt. When we have sex, it’s like the whole world opens up; it’s almost a spiritual experience. But - yeah, I’ve wondered sometimes. I mean, in high school -”  
  
“Ahh, yes, I’d almost forgotten that you already know what it’s like to _make out_ with Rachel.”  
  
“That’s not - that isn’t what I was talking about. I just mean in the abstract - I wonder if it feels different.”  
  
Kurt clutches at Blaine’s arm, pulls it tighter around him. “You don’t want to, do you?”  
  
“I - well, it could be totally awkward. But I’m just saying - there’s nothing wrong with being curious.”  
  
“Okay. No, you’re right, there isn’t.”  
  
They lie in silence for a while, and Blaine’s fingers trace over Kurt’s chest, faintly dusted with light brown hair. Then, “I wonder what boobs feel like.”  
  
Kurt sits up in bed, stares at Blaine, who cowers under his intimidating gaze. “Seriously?”  
  
“Well - it’s not that I think they’re hot or anything - I’m just - I wonder what they feel like. And it might be interesting to have sex and not have to use lube.”  
  
“I think most straight people still use lube, Blaine.”  
  
“Yeah, but you don’t _have_ to, if the girl’s turned on enough. At least, that’s what I hear …”  
  
“Blaine?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Do you want to have sex with Rachel?”  
  
“I - the only way it’d ever happen is if you were there and we were drunk and you were on board, too. Making you upset isn’t worth any kind of curiosity. It’s just - she seems willing, and I feel bad for her; she hasn’t had sex in a really long time …”  
  
“If you’re feeling sorry for Rachel, and you want her to have sex, then _find her a date_ , Blaine. I really don’t want to talk about this any more tonight.” Kurt wiggles out of Blaine’s arms and moves to the far side of the bed.  
  
Blaine panics inside. “Kurt - wait, I didn’t -”  
  
“We’ll talk about it more in the morning. I’m going to sleep.”  
  
“But I -”  
  
“Goodnight, Blaine.”  
  
It’s always agony, trying to sleep when Kurt’s unhappy with him. He tosses and turns and seethes and wants to throw things at Rachel’s wall, because it’s _her fault_ that they’re in a fight in the first place, if that’s what this is, and why is his brain wired so weird?   
  
That’s it, he finally decides at 3 in the morning. No more discussion about it, no more curiosity. He and Kurt are absolutely _not_ having sex with Rachel Berry.

* * *

  
Kurt wakes with the sun and rolls over, gazing at Blaine with guilt in his heart. It’s evident that Blaine hasn’t slept well - the rumpled covers are always a telltale sign - and Kurt feels like it’s his fault.  
  
He thinks back to high school, to the party where Rachel kissed Blaine and he knew then and there that his life was over, and decided he hated everything for three whole days. He remembers how he’d yelled at Blaine, how he’d never even given him a chance to question, how _angry_ he got just because Blaine was unsure. A completely normal teenage emotion.  
  
He realizes he’s doing it again in a way, and it scares him. Kurt doesn’t want to be _that_ boyfriend, the one that stifles his partner’s needs or wishes or desires. It’s not like Blaine’s declaring his love for Rachel all of a sudden. He’s not even said he for sure wants to do anything - he was just trying to talk to Kurt, and Kurt shut him down. Kurt definitely doesn’t want to be that boyfriend.   
  
So he gets up, pressing a kiss to Blaine’s forehead, and goes to the kitchen to whip up a batch of apology muffins, which he’ll serve to Blaine in bed while he listens to him speak.   
  
Kurt’s so far from being the perfect boyfriend it’s not even funny, but he’s trying really, really hard, and this is a wrong that isn’t too hard to right.

* * *

  
“Hi.”  
  
Blaine’s eyes blink open, slow and confused in the soft morning light, and then the smell hits him and oh, it’s heaven, the scent of Kurt’s muffins.  
  
“Kurt, I’m so sorry -”  
  
“ _Shhh_ , no.” Kurt kneels beside him on the bed, breaks off a piece of muffin, feeds it to him. “It’s not your apology to make. I’ve done this before, cut you off when you try to talk about something new or different with me, and I don’t want to do it again. I want to hear you.”  
  
Blaine blinks at him again. “But I pushed -”  
  
“You didn’t push. You spoke. I should have let you. I should have listened.”  
  
“Kurt …” Even their fights are romantic, he thinks as he lets Kurt’s mouth overtake his own, fresh with the taste of cinnamon and cloves and orange.   
  
“If you’re curious, we can talk about it,” Kurt says softly. “If you want more, if you want to experiment, we can talk about that too. Let me listen to you.”  
  
They don’t get much talking _or_ listening done until much, much later.

* * *

  
“So,” Blaine says, sitting cross-legged across the couch from Kurt after they’ve showered and cleaned up. It’s how they sit whenever they need to have a serious conversation, and Blaine loves it, the way they can look into each other’s eyes this way, the way they can scoot forward and touch knees if they need some reassurance. “You want to listen.”  
  
“I do,” Kurt says, his chin propped on his hand. Blaine loves him so much. So, so much - he’ll never love another person like he loves Kurt; Kurt is everything.  
  
“Okay. So - god, I shouldn’t be embarrassed about this -”  
  
“What is it, honey?” Kurt asks, reaching forward and placing his hand on Blaine’s knee.   
  
“I - there are things.” He clears his throat. “There are things I want to do. Not now, necessarily, but someday. With you.” He holds Kurt’s gaze, even though it’s uncomfortable, because they’ve never talked about this before (how have they never talked about this before?) and he needs to see Kurt’s every reaction. He needs to know if he needs to stop talking, if he’s totally freaking Kurt out.  
  
But Kurt just cocks his head. “What kind of things?”  
  
“Um.” Blaine scratches the back of his neck. “Sexual things.”  
  
Kurt rolls his eyes. “Yes, honey, I gathered that. What _kind_ of sexual things?”  
  
Blaine really should have prepared better for this, because how exactly do you say to your boyfriend - partner? - “Oh, here are my kinks, now tell me yours.” He takes a breath. “Um.”  
  
“Blaine. Don’t be nervous. I - um, I have some … interests … as well.”  
  
Kurt’s blushing a little, the flush that makes him even more beautiful than ever, and for some reason it makes Blaine feel a little better. Maybe because he’s not the only one a bit anxious, maybe even a little hot and bothered here. It might be a good thing that they had sex before having this conversation. “Oh. Right. Okay, um -” _Just spit it out, Anderson_. “Well -”  
  
“Would you like me to go first?”  
  
Blaine almost wants to cry with relief. He has the most considerate boyfriend - partner, definitely partner, if only in his own mind - in the whole world. “Um, if you’d like to.”  
  
“I think it will make you feel more comfortable, so okay,” Kurt says, scooting forward and pressing his knees against Blaine’s. _Oh_ , that’s better. “Alright. Um. Candles.”  
  
“Candles? The song?” Blaine’s mind is racing, trying to figure out where Kurt’s going with this. “Or - the lights? We already light candles sometimes, Kurt. Do you want more? Or - every time?”  
  
Kurt blushes deeper. “Ahh, no. Not the - not the lights, the wax. I. I’ve always wondered how it would feel - um - what it would be like for you to - uh - to _dripitonme_ ,” he finishes in a rush.   
  
Oh. _Oh_. Blaine’s never even thought of that, candle wax. He pictures it falling on Kurt’s pale skin and - yeah, that could _definitely_ be a thing he’s into. “Okay,” he says, his voice coming out a lot rougher than he meant it to. He clears his throat again. “I mean - yeah, that’s - we can definitely try that.” He breathes. “What else?”  
  
Now Kurt’s really red. He mumbles something that Blaine can’t understand at all.   
  
“Kurt, sweetheart.” Blaine’s hands come up to cover Kurt’s. “I will never, ever judge you for anything you say here. And I’ll probably be willing to try just about anything, because it’s with you, and anything with you is going to be good. So - what did you say, again?”  
  
“Bondage play,” Kurt whispers, unable to meet Blaine’s eyes.  
  
Blaine freezes. That’s the one thing - he can’t be tied down, held down, unable to move. He doesn’t like it - it makes him squirmy inside just to think about, but he desperately doesn’t want to disappoint Kurt, and what’s he supposed to say?  
  
“Blaine?”  
  
“I - Kurt -”  
  
“I knew that was a bad idea,” Kurt mumbles, hanging his head.   
  
“No, sweetheart, no, it’s just - it’s me. I - I’d freak out on you if you tied my hands, if I couldn’t move, I - I just don’t think it would go well -”  
  
But Kurt’s eyes are meeting his now, and Blaine stops. “No. No, I didn’t mean tie you down. I meant - _I_ want the bondage, Blaine.”   
  
Blaine’s a little confused. “But - but you top, almost _always_ -”   
  
Kurt’s voice drops to a whisper even though they’re the only ones in the apartment. “Yeah, and it’s the hottest thing imaginable, thinking about being tied to the bedposts while you ride my cock, Blaine.”  
  
And there’s that zig-zag thing again, the thing that Blaine loves maybe most about Kurt. (Though there are lots of things to love, and Blaine’s not precisely sure what’s at the very top.)   
  
“I - oh.” He thinks about it, thinks about tying Kurt down, and it’s still a hard thing to grapple with. “I don’t know, Kurt. I think - we can talk about that more. But if it’s something you really want to do, I promise I’ll try, okay?”  
  
Kurt smiles, looking relieved, and he leans in and presses a kiss to Blaine’s lips. “I love you,” he murmurs.   
  
“God, I love you too,” Blaine says, bringing his hands up to frame Kurt’s face. “So much. What else?”  
  
“Um - maybe food?”  
  
“Oh my god, _yes_ ,” Blaine says, and can’t keep from beaming, because he’s fantasized about licking whipped cream and chocolate off Kurt’s cock since the first time he saw it. He wants to paint Kurt’s chest with caramel sauce, to eat cherries and strawberries from between Kurt’s lips. Yes, food play is _definitely_ one of his kinks.   
  
Kurt grins. “Well, that was easy.”  
  
“Yeah, well,” Blaine shrugs, a little embarrassed at how badly he wants it.   
  
“It’s a good thing,” Kurt says, pressing harder against his knees. “It’s - if both of us want it, it’ll make it that much better, right?” Blaine nods. “So tell me, what else do _you_ want?”  
  
Blaine’s nervous to say it. He’s not sure how Kurt will take it; he knows it is strictly off-limits for a lot of guys, and Kurt’s pretty clean, but - god, even the _thought_ of it is turning him on right now. “Uh - _rummmnng_ ,” he stutters.  
  
“Come again?”  
  
He clears his throat. “Rimming?” he tries again.   
  
Kurt sits still, blinks at him. “You mean, you want to lick my ass, or you want me to lick yours?”  
  
“Um, either? But, in my fantasies -” (and oh, why does that word make him blush so hard?) “- it’s always me licking you.”   
  
Kurt furrows his brow. “Isn’t that gross, Blaine?”  
  
“ _No_ ,” Blaine insists, and maybe that was too intense of a reaction, because Kurt’s kind of staring at him, but god, he really, really wants it. “I just - god, you just smell like _man_ down there, and I’m well-acquainted with your personal hygiene, and - honestly, it turns me on so _much_ , Kurt, just thinking about it.”  
  
“Well … alright. But it might be a while before I get to that point. Is that okay, if I don’t reciprocate?”  
  
“Of course. We can wait, even for me to do it. It’s just - it can be an eventual thing. We’ve got time …”   
  
Kurt smiles at this, and Blaine knows it’s because they do. They have all the time in the world. But then Kurt’s face turns serious. “So, you haven’t mentioned the Rachel thing …”  
  
“Oh.” He pauses. “I - it’s more of a threesome thing than a Rachel thing, Kurt, honestly. And - I don’t know, it feels safer, and there won’t be any comparison issues with her, and we know her sexual history, and we know she’s clean, and it’s not like either one of us is going to ride off into the sunset with her.”  
  
Kurt considers this. Blaine can almost see the wheels in his head turning, and he’s quiet for a long time. “I think - maybe that’s why I didn’t want to do it with her. With a girl. Because she _is_ safe.”  
  
Blaine looks at him, perplexed. Kurt could write a manual on safe sex; they’re _always_ careful. It doesn’t make sense.   
  
“You’re confused,” Kurt observes. Blaine nods his head. “Ever since I can remember, until I met you, girls were safe and sex was not. Sex wasn’t something that I was ever going to be able to have, or that’s what it felt like at least, and - I don’t know. I couldn’t look. I couldn’t touch. I couldn’t do _anything_. But I could touch girls. They were safe. Mercedes was safe. Even _Brittany_ was safe, because deep down, I knew it wasn’t real, and - I don’t know, it was a big deal to her, but I knew she wouldn’t push me.”   
  
Blaine wants to gather Kurt in his arms and hold him for the rest of forever, but Kurt’s not done talking yet, so Blaine settles on resting his hands on top of Kurt’s knees. He just wants Kurt to know he’s still there, that he understands.  
  
“So I guess - well, part of me is so reluctant because _I’m gay_ , and I’m not really attracted to girls that way. But part of me, I think, doesn’t want to mix the two - girls and sex - because it will ruin everything, and it will blemish that one thing that can’t ever hurt me. But - Blaine, I know that you’ll never hurt me. I mean, you _did_ hurt me, but not in the same way, and you won’t again -”  
  
This time Blaine doesn’t care if Kurt’s done talking or not. He leans forward and grasps Kurt around the shoulders, pulling him into an awkward hug. “I will _never_ hurt you again, Kurt. And - I understand what you’re saying, I - if you’re uncomfortable, we absolutely don’t have to do it, we don’t have to do it at all -”  
  
“No,” Kurt says, sounding determined, and Blaine pulls back to look at him. “No, Blaine, it’s not the same anymore. I have you. _You’re_ my safe thing, and sex is safe and good, and Rachel’s kind of crazy anyway, even though I love her, and … well, she does have a decent ass. Not that it holds a candle to yours or anything, but …”  
  
Blaine grins. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”      
  
“All I’m saying is that, if Rachel’s willing, and you want it, I wouldn’t be opposed to trying something new.”  
  
Blaine has the best boyfriend - partner _\- ever_.

* * *

  
It’s been a week and a half since the embarrassing conversation about sex, and Rachel’s finally learned to keep her mouth shut, she thinks.  
  
After a day or two of awkward, when Kurt and Blaine would look at each other uncomfortably in her presence, everyone seems to have calmed down, and she couldn’t be more relieved. It would be just her luck to drive away the two best friends she’s ever had over something so stupid as sex, especially when she’s not even _having_ it!   
  
She’s all but let it go, acknowledging that she’d rather have quiet, vibrator-induced orgasms (or not-so-quiet ones in the shower, for she’d discovered that it’s _waterproof_ ) than have a one night stand with Kurt and Blaine and then lose them forever.   
  
Honestly she doesn’t even know if the sex would be good.   
  
(The sex would be _fantastic_.)

* * *

  
“Can this _get_ any more awkward?” Kurt hisses to Blaine. “Our entire _life_ is one big mess of awkward now. We have loud sex, Rachel feels awkward. She gets off on our loud sex, _we_ feel awkward. She _watches_ us have sex, everybody feels awkward. She suggests a threesome, more awkward for everybody. And now that we’ve finally decided that experimentation would not be the worst thing in the world, it’s _still_ awkward, because _how do you tell your best friend that_?”  
  
“Hey, hey, calm down.” Blaine’s hands are steady on Kurt’s shoulders, and he tries to breathe. “No existential crises over this, okay? If the opportunity presents itself, we go for it. If not, well, I guess it’s not meant to be, and you’re stuck with plain old me for the rest of your life. No vaginas in sight.”  
  
“Well, when you put it that way …”   
  
Blaine grins and Kurt feels better. Blaine said for the rest of their lives. Kurt feels a _lot_ better.  
  
“You’re the only person on this earth that I’d ever do anything like this with. You know that, right?” Kurt asks, hauling him in for a kiss.  
  
“Of course I know that. That’s why it’s okay,” Blaine says sweetly against his mouth, and god, he’s perfect. Screw Rachel, screw the awkwardness, Blaine is more than his wildest dreams could have ever hoped for. They don’t need any sort of kink fulfillment to make them happy, threesome or bondage or whatever. All Kurt needs is Blaine, and he’s pretty sure it works the other way around, as well.   
  
It’s ridiculous, he knows, as he pushes Blaine backwards toward their bedroom, how much they have sex, how hungry he is for Blaine. But to a boy who never even let himself look, let alone touch, having a man who wants to devour him is better than heaven, and who can blame him if he wants to cash in on it every chance he gets? He feels like he’s still got a lot of time to make up for.

* * *

  
The opportunity presents itself a week later, right before they’re all due home for Christmas, when Rachel leaves her vibrator in the bathroom.  
  
Kurt finds it and darts into his and Blaine’s bedroom with it, holding it up with a gleeful smile on his face.  
  
“Jackpot?”  
  
“Mmm, maybe,” Blaine says, grinning. “If you play your cards right.”  
  
Kurt’s smile turns wicked. “Oh, I’m all in, honey.”

* * *

  
Rachel’s rifling through her tiny closet, trying to figure out what to take home with her, when Kurt knocks on her half-open door and lets himself into her room.  
  
“Rach, catch!”  
  
She whips around just in time to shoot her arms out and snatch her vibrator from the air before it hits her in the face.  
  
“Kurt! Oh my god, what are you _doing_ with that?”  
  
“Found it in the bathroom,” he sings. “Somebody’s having happy shower time, I presume?”  
  
“Kurt Hummel!” she screeches.   
  
“Hey, I’m not judging,” he drawls, leaning against the doorframe, and why is he all legs and arms and beautiful? She’s trying to be mad at him, and his - well, his _Kurt-ness_ is deterring her. “You’ve gotta get your kicks wherever you can, I get that.”  
  
He’s so casual and flippant about it, it makes her see red. “You know, maybe I wouldn’t have to get off in the shower if you -” She cuts herself off before she makes it any worse than it is.  
  
“If I what? Or did you mean if _we_ …”  
  
Rachel sighs heavily. “Kurt, just drop it. I’m already embarrassed enough about it as it is …”   
  
“Yeah, about that, though,” he says, casually running his hand down the doorframe, and _dammit, Rachel, just find yourself a one night stand already_. _They’re_ gay _!_ “What are you doing on New Years’ Eve?”  
  
“What am I - what?”  
  
“Well, Blaine and I were thinking, New Years’ is usually a pretty good excuse to drink and party, so we thought it might also be a good time to try some … experimenting, shall we say?”  
  
“Are you - Kurt, this isn’t funny, if you’re joking. I think you’ve gotten plenty of mileage out of this at my expense, so can we just cut it off, please?”  
  
“Do I look like I’m joking?” Kurt asks, his face serious.  
  
“I - no?”  
  
“Okay then. So. Do you have plans for New Years’?”  
  
Rachel blinks at him. “Well, I guess I do now.”

* * *

  
The internet is failing Rachel Berry. Google has nothing for her when she searches “what does a girl wear to have sex with two gay guys?” - all that comes up is how gay guys have sex and she obviously already knows that.   
  
Do they like cleavage? Maybe not, since boobs definitely do not do it for either of them. Maybe she should focus on her ass. Boys have asses. She knows Kurt _loves_ Blaine’s ass.  
  
Eventually she decides on things she already has, a t-shirt, low cut and thin enough to show her nipples, but not so revealing that anything’s going to fall out, and a pair of cheeky panties that show off the best part of her ass. She’ll feel playful and sexy at the same time, and hopefully Kurt and Blaine will appreciate her assets, at least a little bit.

* * *

  
New Years’ Eve is frigid, absolutely bitterly cold.  
  
It’s so cold that they don’t even _try_ to venture out for the chaos of Times’ Square, content to sit at home with a bowl of spiked punch, some music, and a movie.   
  
The movie’s only there to fill the silence while they drink themselves tipsy.   
  
The music’s for later.  
  
They pile onto the couch while they drink, lounging on each other with heads in laps and fingers in hair as they used to do in high school. It’s not so different now, except they all know what’s coming.   
  
They swallow down their punch, and their collective skin buzzes and tingles with each point of contact.   
  
Noone is watching the movie.

* * *

  
Rachel closes her eyes as the room first begins to lose its focus. “I think -” she tries, but her tongue is thick in her mouth. “I think we should go to your room before we’re too drunk to enjoy this.”  
  
Blaine tips his glass back, and Rachel stares at his neck as the remainder of the liquid disappears, his Adam’s apple bobbing heavily. She has the sudden urge to lick it.  
  
He turns to Kurt. “Last chance to back out of this. Are you good to go?”  
  
Kurt nods. If there’s one thing Rachel knows about him, it’s that once his mind is made up, there’s no going back for him. “I’m good to go. Let’s do this.”  
  
He, too, knocks back the rest of his punch, and he and Blaine link hands, stand, and walk to the bedroom.   
  
Close behind, Rachel loses her sweatshirt, tosses it on the couch, and follows them, the lacy edge of her panties just peeking out from the pajama pants hugging her hips.  
  
Kurt and Blaine are already kissing and shirtless when she walks through the door. She takes a deep breath and eases onto the bed, content to watch for now. They get handsy when they drink, and right now they’re all over each other, fingers trailing over cheekbones and sternums and shoulders, and sliding into each other’s pants. Rachel takes in a sharp gasp of air as both of Kurt’s hands disappear down into Blaine’s jeans, kneading underneath the denim.   
  
Blaine’s wearing what she thinks are maybe bright red briefs, and it’s evident that Kurt’s wearing nothing at all under his lounge pants again, and she feels overdressed so she wiggles out of her pajama pants, shivering against the cold air that makes goosebumps rise on her legs.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt whispers, his voice high and reedy, and Blaine walks him backwards to the bed, hoisting him up on top of it, and damn if that doesn’t turn Rachel on. Blaine climbs on top of him, straddling his hips, and Kurt’s hands come up to work his jeans open.   
  
Rachel’s not quite sure what to do with her hands - they’ve set some boundaries; she can’t go near either of their assholes, because those are exclusively _claimed_ , but other than that, they’ve left things open. She’s not sure what’s welcome and what’s not. Finally she gets up on her knees behind Blaine and works her fingers, her hands, into his shoulders. He immediately relaxes under her touch.   
  
“God, Rach, that feels good,” he murmurs, pressing harder into her touch as Kurt gets his pants open and tugs them down. Rachel’s glad that she’s behind him, because her jaw drops - those are bright red briefs, alright, but she doesn’t expect them to be so _tight_. They leave little to the imagination, and she hasn’t even seen the front of them yet.   
  
She rubs harder.  
  
Blaine hums contentedly, rolls his shoulders, and Kurt props up on his elbows. “Better be careful there,” he warns. “You’re gonna have him purring like a kitten and asleep in no time. And we don’t want that, do we?”  
  
“N-no.” Her voice comes out shaky, and she hates herself a little bit for it.   
  
“Hey. Are _you_ okay?” Blaine asks, craning his neck to see her. “We never made sure before we started …”  
  
“No, I - I’m definitely okay. _Definitely._ It’s just a little - just give me a minute,” she stammers.   
  
Kurt smiles softly in front of Blaine. “You know, I like these,” he says, and reaches around both of them to pat her on the ass. “Very cute.”  
  
It breaks the tension she’s feeling a little, and she smiles gratefully at him. “Thanks. I couldn’t decide - it was hard, deciding what to wear. I didn’t think - I mean, teddies are probably not your thing, and -”  
  
“No worries,” Blaine says gently, turning far enough to run his hand down her arm. “You look fantastic.” She shivers under his fingers, and more goosebumps pop up on her skin.   
  
“Come here,” Kurt says, beckoning to her. “Lie down with me. It’s a pretty nice view from down here.”  
  
She grins, blushes, but follows.   
  
Kurt’s right. Looking up at Blaine, his dick not very well-concealed in those red briefs, a trail of hair running from his navel to down inside them, her mouth begins to water. She’s beginning to want that whole blowjob challenge to come to fruition, because _damn_.   
  
Kurt’s looking at her, a grin on his face. “See? I told you.”    
  
“You weren’t kidding,” she breathes, and Blaine smiles a cocky smile.   
  
And then Rachel dies a little, because Blaine’s hand comes up and he’s stroking himself through the cotton. She makes a little mewling noise on accident, and Kurt’s smile grows wider. “I _know_ ,” he says. “Now do you understand why I want to fuck him all the time?”  
  
“Mmm, just wait till Kurt really gets going,” Blaine says from above, his dick now half-hard in his briefs. “It’s - well, I can’t really describe it, but you’ll see soon enough.”  
  
She turns on her side facing Kurt, and spurred on by the alcohol in her veins, drags her hand, fingernails very lightly scratching, down the middle of his chest. “I always knew you’d be a little minx in the bedroom,” she says, her voice low and sexy, and she takes a breath and shifts forward, her lips pressing against his.  
  
There’s a moment’s hesitation, and then he’s cupping the back of her head, and _holy shit,_ Kurt Hummel knows how to work his tongue. For all the orgasms she’s had, and as much as she loves that vibrator of hers, she’s not been kissed in about six months, and oh, how she’s missed it. If she were Blaine, she’d kiss Kurt all the time, and he kind of does, and she understands why. She’s tingling all over, and if anyone ever had any doubts that Kurt is a _man_ , all they need to do is kiss him, because his scent is kind of overtaking her right now, and he’s tipping her head back to give himself better access to her now open mouth, and oh my god is he _hard_ inside those lounge pants? She instinctively presses closer, needing more contact and curious to feel, and one of his hands leaves her face to trail down her shoulder and _he’s touching her breast._  
  
Her eyes pop open as he gently thumbs over a nipple through the soft cotton of her t-shirt, and she can’t help the moan that escapes her throat.   
  
From up above, Blaine’s voice is growly. “Holy _fuck_ , that’s hotter than I was expecting …”  
  
She feels the bed shift under her - she’s still kissing Kurt, and _that_ doesn’t ever need to end, so she doesn’t turn to look, but soon Blaine’s pressing against her back, spooning her. He squeezes around her stomach once, a backwards hug, and then moves her long hair out of the way to nibble at her neck.  
  
Rachel is not going to survive this night.  
  
Her breath hitches when Blaine’s hand comes around to move Kurt’s out of the way. His touch is a little firmer than Kurt’s, grasping her breast where Kurt only teased it, but he’s running a finger in a circle around her nipple all the same, and oh god, she’s already so wet.   
  
Kurt’s lips part from hers, and she stares up in awe as he and Blaine sit up in one fluid motion and begin to kiss, moaning into each other’s mouths. She’s surprised at how _un_ -neglected she feels, like she’s a part of their kiss. Her hand is just drifting into the waistband of her panties - she can’t help it, even their _kisses_ are like porn - when she feels a sharp smack, and Kurt’s looking down at her, shaking his head.   
  
“Uh-uh-uh, Rach,” he says. “Hands off.”  
  
She whines, frustrated, but then Blaine bends and silences her with his mouth, and oh yeah, this is why she’d had a crush on him in high school. That night, so long ago, comes flooding back and she remembers his lips then, and as good as that kiss was, it’s nothing compared to now. She grabs for his hair, wanting something to hold onto, to steady herself a little, and the _curls_ , god, she’s never dated anybody with curls before, and it’s _perfect._ She hums contentedly as he takes control, moving her onto her back, so strong, but so gentle. His hands are stroking her face, cupping her cheek, and she gasps into his mouth as Kurt reaches between them to rub over her nipple again.   
  
“You really like that, don’t you?” he murmurs, and she makes a little noise of affirmation.   
  
“Me too,” Blaine says, breaking their kiss for just a moment, a twinkle in his eye. And then his lips are back, and more weight on her too, and oh god, that’s his dick pressing at her inner thigh.   
  
Her body thrums, and she realizes - she’s known all along, but she really _knows_ , now - she’s going to have sex with them. It’s actually going to happen, and she can’t wait to see how, and oh dear _lord_ , she’s just so turned on, with Blaine on top of her and Kurt’s hand still brushing against her nipples.   
  
Her panties are wet between her legs, and she hasn’t even been touched yet, and she _needs_ , so she shifts her hips and Blaine’s cotton-covered cock presses against her.   
  
She makes a noise somewhere between a sigh and a moan, and Blaine grunts above her, props on his elbows, rolls his hips.   
  
“Oh _god_ ,” she murmurs, her hands still tangled in his curls, and she pulls him back in for another kiss.   
  
“Do you _see_?” Kurt asks. “Do you get why I fuck him all the time?” He sounds just a little jealous, so Rachel lets Blaine go and Kurt dives for him. It’s obvious that they’ve mapped one another’s bodies, know each curve and line and plane, because Kurt’s eyes are closed and he manages to latch onto Blaine’s mouth with his lips and onto Blaine’s dick with one hand and the other hand splays over Blaine’s lower back, pulling him in.   
  
“ _Kurt_ ,” Blaine murmurs, shuddering a little as Kurt’s tongue travels down Blaine’s neck, licking the Adam’s apple that looked so delicious to Rachel earlier. With just a few strokes, Blaine’s fully hard, the line of his dick almost obscene in his briefs, and Kurt’s pants are tented, and it’s so hot that Rachel feels like she’s burning up from the inside.   
  
She doesn’t want to intrude, but this _is_ a threesome, and she needs to be touched, and _now_ , so she scrambles to her knees and joins them, running her hands down their arms, her left on Kurt’s and her right on Blaine’s. Then, feeling bold, she reaches around with both hands and teases at their waistbands, slipping her fingers inside. It must be working for them, because their kisses are getting dirtier and their hips are rocking, barely rubbing up against each other.   
  
Her hand slips down easy into Kurt’s looser pants, and she squeezes an ass cheek, and he moans into Blaine’s mouth then separates from him and latches onto her, his cock pressing firmly between her legs. She can’t help it - she starts to move.   
  
“Oh, _Kurt_ ,” she gasps, and then Blaine’s behind her and she can feel the line of his dick on her ass, and his hand is coming up, under her shirt, and _oh shit_. Her hips move faster, and Kurt backs up a little.   
  
“Sorry Rachel - you’re starting to chafe.”  
  
She’s about to tell him to just take his damn pants off, then, when Blaine’s other hand plunges into her panties and she can’t say a word. Her body _quakes_ as he reaches down, down, down, and, “Holy _shit_ , Rachel, you really are wet.” He runs his finger around, feeling, exploring, and she thinks she’s going to die.   
  
Kurt cocks his head, intrigued. “Really? Like, _wet-_ wet?”  
  
“Fuck yes. Here, feel,” Blaine says, removing his hand, and Rachel squeaks in protest. But then there’s Kurt’s hand, and she shudders, leans back against Blaine’s chest. Kurt’s rubbing a long finger over her clit, reaching all the way back to her perineum, and she moans, her hips twitching. Kurt’s eyes grow wide.   
  
“ _Jesus_ ,” he murmurs. “You really could get away with no lube, couldn’t you?”  
  
Rachel groans loudly as Kurt withdraws his hand, looking at his shiny finger, then her eyes grow wide as he licks it. “Huh. It’s - milder than yours, honey.”  
  
“ _Fuck_ ,” Blaine growls behind her, rubs his cock against her ass, and his hand is back inside her panties, moving around aimlessly.   
  
She takes his hand, stills it, slips her own hand in alongside his, covers his fingers with hers. “Here,” she says, her voice quivering as she presses his middle finger up, and _oh yeah,_ there. “Right here.”  
  
He looks at her, his eyes gentle and questioning as he tentatively rubs her clit where she showed him, and she feels like she’s going to just shake apart. “Like that?”  
  
Her head bobs up and down. “Yeah. God - yes. Just like - _ohhhh_ \- just like that.”  
  
She’s insanely turned on, her whole body throbbing with it, and then Kurt comes up, sandwiches her in between the two of them as he resumes kissing Blaine, his hands rucking her shirt up and playing with her breasts. She cries out, lets her head fall forward onto his shoulder as both their hips rock into her, Blaine’s fingers still working inside her panties.   
  
“Fuck, this is hot,” Blaine groans at some point, rubbing at her hard and steady, and Rachel’s coming apart. Kurt’s got her t-shirt hiked all the way up to her collarbones, her nipples being tweaked by his fingers, brushing up against his chest, his fine chest hair making them peak harder, and it’s too much.   
  
“Don’t stop,” she gasps into Kurt’s shoulder, pumping her hips against Blaine’s finger. “I’m close - just don’t stop -”  
  
“I’ve got you,” Blaine murmurs low in her ear, and Kurt bends over and - oh god, that’s his tongue, he’s licking her breast across her nipple, laving at it, and that’s what sends her over, Kurt’s tongue and Blaine’s finger and -  
  
 _“Fuu-huu-huuuck_ ,” she chants as her body clenches and spasms, quivering all over. Her breath comes short and loud as her weight slumps onto Kurt, and his strong arms come around her to hold her up.   
  
“Shit,” Kurt says, stroking her hair. “Rach, that was really hot.”  
  
“Not done -” she pants. “We’re not done yet, are we?”  
  
Blaine grins. “Not by a long shot. Nobody’s even naked yet.”  
  
“Yeah, let’s work on that,” Kurt says, and then it’s a flurry of hands and clothes and the next thing Rachel knows, she’s got two cocks in her face. Two very hard, very large cocks, one of them shimmering at the tip with a drop of clear liquid. “So, how up for that blowjob challenge are you?” Kurt asks, stroking himself, and oh my god, Rachel really wants him in her mouth. “Because I’d really, really love to be sucked off.”  
  
Blaine looks delighted. “Yes. Absolutely.” He moves to the floor, kneeling right in front of the bed, but Kurt shakes his head.   
  
“No, honey, Rachel first. I want _you_ to finish me off.”   
  
Blaine looks even more pleased with that idea, and he hops back up on the bed to watch, excitement in his eyes.   
  
“You okay with this, Rach?” he asks, scooting closer to her.   
  
She nods, unable to speak, and he rubs his dick over her lips, coating them with precome. She sticks her tongue out to lick, and it’s hard for her not to moan. She takes the base with her hand, steadying it, and licks around the tip, and fuck it, takes half of it in her mouth. Kurt gasps above her. She’s surprised at how good it is - Kurt’s significantly better groomed than Finn ever was, and he tastes cleaner than Brody, and he seems to fit her mouth just right, so she sinks a little lower and sucks lightly.   
  
“Ohhh,” he moans, “okay, I take it back. Rach - _ahhh_ \- you’re pretty good at this.” She lifts her eyes, looking at him through mascara-darkened lashes, and winks. He shudders, and she feels more than a little proud of herself. She sucks harder, and it’s turning her on, the way Kurt’s moaning, the way Blaine’s watching, slack-jawed. Kurt is velvet-covered iron in her mouth, and god, this is probably the nicest blowjob she’s ever given. Why can’t straight boys learn to manscape?  
  
Soon, Kurt’s tapping her on the shoulder. “Rach - Rach, hang on. I’m sorry, no offense, but I just really, _really_ \- _fuck, Rach_ \- want to come down Blaine’s throat, and _\- ohhhhhhhh -_ I’m actually really close, and -”  
  
He breaks off as she slips her way off of him. She doesn’t mind, not really, not when she gets to watch the apparently-talented Blaine “deepthroat like a pornstar.”   
  
Kurt wasn’t lying, apparently.   
  
Blaine’s kneeling on the floor again, and she moves so she can see better. Kurt’s entire dick - the whole length of it, and it’s _long_ \- in his mouth, down his throat, and he’s moaning around it and Kurt is _shaking_. His hands are in Blaine’s hair and he’s tugging, and Blaine seems to like it because he’s palming himself and sucking, and Rachel can see him swallow, can see that Adam’s apple bob, and oh _Jesus_.   
  
Her legs fall apart, and her finger trails down to her clit.   
  
“Blaine - Blaine, oh honey, I’m so - oh _god_ , _fuck_ -”  
  
There’s some communication going on with their eyes, Kurt seems to be asking and Blaine seems to be answering, and she’s not sure how they do this ESP thing, but then she doesn’t care because Kurt is fucking Blaine’s mouth. Hard. And Blaine’s just taking it, and Kurt’s _groaning_ , and it’s the hottest thing Rachel’s ever seen.   
  
And then it’s even better, because she gets to see Kurt’s “o” face as he comes hard down Blaine’s throat.   
  
His head’s thrown back and his mouth is open and he’s the very picture of sex. His arms are taut, biceps visible, his back is arched, and she can see him pulsing it out, can see Blaine swallowing. Blaine’s eyes are open, and he looks so _happy_ with a cock stuffed down his throat while he’s trying not to choke on come.   
  
She tips her head, stills her hand for a moment, and thinks, _This is what love looks like._  
  
Kurt pulls out and falls on the bed beside her, and she strokes over his hair and kisses his face and smiles at his peaceful, half-drunk eyes and he grins at her. “He’s really good,” he pants.  
  
“He’s also really, really turned on.” Blaine appears, knees red from kneeling on the hardwoods, his voice a little rough. “Rach? Are you up for -”  
  
“Oh my god please fuck me,” she blurts, and he laughs.   
  
“Okay.”  
  
He reaches over and digs in a drawer, pulls out a condom and some lube, holds the bottle up. “Do you need -”  
  
“Ahh, maybe later, but not right now?” she says, her finger playing in the pool of liquid at the opening of her vagina. “Do you want me to …” She gestures toward the condom.   
  
“Sure,” Blaine says, holding it out to her.   
  
She rolls it on and he moans, his dick twitching under her hand. God, this is going to be so good.  
  
“Do you, uh - prep? Do you have to prep?” he stammers. “I’m sorry - I’ve just never done this before -”   
  
“Prep?”  
  
“You know, stretch you out …” He’s blushing as red as his cock is, and it’s adorable.   
  
“Oh, Blaine, honey,” she says, coming up on her knees, face to face with him. “It stretches by itself.”  
  
She locks him in a kiss, her tongue darting out of her mouth and into his, and his cock’s between her legs, rubbing delicious against her skin, and god, how she _wants_. He eases her down to the bed - “Is this okay?” - and she kisses him some more. He tastes so good, different than Kurt, and those _curls_ , and she tangles her hands in his hair again. He’s rubbing against her out of sheer need and it’s driving her crazy. She could come again just from that, she’s sure, and she tells him so.   
  
“Do you want to?” he asks, glancing at Kurt, who’s lying next to her watching intently, his chest still rising and falling heavily, his cock limp against his thigh. He looks completely blissed out, smiling and reaching over to pet her arm every now and then.   
  
“I mean -” she says, blushing. “Who _doesn’t_ want multiple orgasms?”  
  
“Okay, I can try,” Blaine tells her. “But - I’m really turned on. If I get close -”  
  
“If you get close, I want you to fuck me,” she murmurs, brushing a curl off his forehead. “Understood?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
He moves, slow and deliberate, and it’s heaven, rubbing her clit against his cock like that. She wishes they weren’t wearing condoms - she wishes they could feel _all_ of her, could feel how wet she is, but even though they’re all clean and she’s on the pill, they don’t want to take any chances. This is supposed to be fun, not life-changing. Still, though, it’s good, the friction that she’s been wanting all night long, and it’s hardly any time at all before she’s gasping. “Can I try something?” she pants. “Are you still good?”  
  
“I’m harder than fuck, but sure,” he grunts out, eyes squeezed shut.   
  
Carefully, she moves to flip them, and he catches the hint, rolling her on top of him. She’s glad he and Kurt have managed to procure a king-sized bed. It takes up almost the whole of their room, but she’s pretty sure they don’t care, and right now, neither does she. She braces herself on his shoulders and rolls down over his cock, now able to control the rhythm herself. She’s so wet now that his dick is soaked, and no, they absolutely don’t need lube.   
  
“ _Shit_ ,” she hears from beside her, and she glances at Kurt, who is not hanging limp any longer. Dick in hand, he’s watching, wide-eyed.   
  
“Rach?” Blaine gasps. “Are you close? Because -”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, just give me a second -” she gasps, grinding harder, faster. “Can you - my nipples -” and she doesn’t even care how embarrassing it sounds, because the heat is coiled in her belly, desperate to escape, and she just needs a tiny bit more of _something_ to bring her over the edge.   
  
It’s Kurt who comes to her rescue, his half-hard cock pressing against her ass as he bends over her, grasping both breasts in his hands. He rolls her nipples between his fingers and Blaine’s groaning underneath her - she thinks that maybe Kurt’s dick is rubbing up against Blaine, too, and he’s shaking and she’s so, so close, almost there -  
  
She shifts a little, and there it is, the white hot sensation pouring over her as she cries out, spasming over Blaine’s cock. She’s still clenching when his eyes turn predatory and he flips them back over and _god_ , yes, it’s exactly what she wants.  
  
He slides in easily, mostly because she wants him so bad that her body just sort of opens up to him, and he chokes on his own breath, hips jittering forward.   
  
“How is it?” Kurt asks, curious.   
  
“ _Fuck_ ,” comes Blaine’s strangled answer, and Rachel manages to smile at him as Blaine pushes her knees back.   
  
“You can see for yourself when he’s done, if you want.”  
  
Blaine’s grunts are filling the room, and Kurt’s eyes turn dark. Rachel’s not sure if he’s jealous or turned on, and she still can’t decide when the bottle of lube clicks open. “Hold still for a second, baby,” Kurt murmurs, and Blaine does, and Rachel really _feels_ him now, feels his girth and the way he’s stretching her, filling her, and oh god, that’s really doing it for her. She never even really came down from that last orgasm, and here’s another one heating up.   
  
This is the best night of her life.  
  
Then she gasps, because Blaine’s just _slammed_ into her, as deep as he’ll go, and he’s pretty long and _really_ wide, but then she realizes it’s because Kurt’s finger is in his ass.   
  
“Oh my god, there, oh baby, _there_ ,” Blaine moans, and Kurt grins, his eyes dirty. He does something with his hand and Blaine shouts out.   
  
Rachel grabs his head, moving wildly, and forces him to look at her. “Blaine?”  
  
“Uh?”  
  
“Fuck me now.”  
  
He does, with Kurt’s fingers in his asshole pressing on his prostate, she guesses, and damn, she wishes _she_ had a prostate to press, because Blaine is on fire. He’s got her knees pressed back to her chest and he seems not quite human, more animal than human, fucking in and out of her like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do.   
  
“Kurt, oh Kurt,” he moans, then, “Rach - _god_ , Rach, yeah -”  
  
“You need to come?” Kurt asks him, and his voice turns _Rachel_ on even more; she can’t imagine what it does to Blaine.  
  
And then she can, because he’s begging, needy, and fucking into her harder, and she’s going to be so sore tomorrow, and she’s going to love it.   
  
“Come, baby,” Kurt says, reaches down and grabs his balls, Rachel knows because she can feel Kurt’s hand against her ass, and Blaine shouts again, presses so deep that Rachel can feel him in her eyeballs, and pulses long and hard.  
  
It’s too soon when Blaine’s pulling out of her and _Jesus,_ yeah, she’s already sore, she’ll feel this night for days. She’s also turned on, close to the edge but not quite there, and she knows if Kurt fucks her just right, she’ll be coming her brains out for a third time that night.   
  
She wants Kurt to fuck her just right.  
  
And it looks like he’ll be able to, he’s hard again, but not until after he takes care of Blaine. Her heart is melting in her chest as Blaine ties off the condom, tosses it in the trash, and then _falls_ into Kurt, who’s murmuring sweetly to him and wiping his face with the Egyptian cotton sheet.   
  
“ _Shhh_ ,” Kurt whispers, “you’re so perfect, did you like that?”  
  
“You’re not mad, are you?” comes the muffled question against Kurt’s chest. “You don’t feel like I cheated?”  
  
“No, baby, no - I was right here the whole time.”  
  
Blaine looks up, and Rachel’s heart might explode. “I just didn’t expect to like it so much.”  
  
“Blaine, baby, I had my finger in your ass the entire time. Of course you liked it.”  
  
This seems to calm Blaine, and he grins, and Rachel grins, and Kurt grins, and she just loves them both so much, her heart might burst with it.  
  
She brushes Kurt’s arm with her fingertips, smiles a little shyly. “Do you want to know how it feels?”  
  
He doesn’t answer, and Blaine tenderly brushes his hair back and kisses him sweetly. “Kurt, it’s good. You should try - god, I really want to watch you -”   
  
And Kurt nods once, kisses Blaine back and crawls over to her, his dick bouncing against his belly. He pulls her into a kiss, his cock pressing between her legs, and _ohhh_ , just _pressure_ on her clit is enough to make her back arch.   
  
Kurt pulls a condom out of the box that Blaine left on the bed and Rachel whimpers when he moves back to roll it on. She shakes her head when she grabs the lube.   
  
Kurt, believe me, you don’t need that. Here, feel.” She takes his hand and drags it down to her vagina, still soaked and slippery, and Kurt’s eyes grow wide. He sets the bottle down, swallows hard. “If it makes you feel any better, even after this, I still know you’re captial-G gay,” she tells him. “We’re just playing.”  
  
“Yeah. I know,” he murmurs, then brushes her hair out of her face. He lines himself up and she scoots her bottom down, and he’s slipping inside, slower and steadier than Blaine had. She closes her eyes, lets herself feel.   
  
“ _Oh_ ,” he whispers when he’s fully sheathed. “That’s - it’s different. But not.”  
  
“How?”  
  
“It’s - it stretches more. It’s easier. It’s - I can feel you everywhere, _god_.”  
  
“Do you like it?” Rachel asks, keeping her voice even.  
  
“I - yeah, it’s -” Kurt pulls out, pushes back in. “I mean, it feels - good.”  
  
Blaine reaches up, drags a sleepy hand down Kurt’s arm. “‘M right here. You’re allowed to like it, baby.”  
  
Buried inside Rachel, Kurt leans over to kiss Blaine, loose and open. She feels him grow harder inside her.  
  
“Kurt,” she says, running a hand through his hair, “keep kissing Blaine.” He does, and his hips begin to move, and _ohhh_ , yeah, that’s what she wants, just slow and steady for now. He’s getting harder by the second, but his thrusts are not, and she can’t help the sighs escaping her chest as he pushes in and pulls out and back again, as she turns her head to watch them kiss.   
  
“Oh, Kurt,” she breathes, and she can see why Blaine wants to be fucked all the time. _Yes_ , feels so good. Blaine lazily reaches over and brushes his fingers against her chest and her hips begin to meet Kurt’s thrusts.   
  
His and Blaine’s kisses are getting sloppier, Kurt’s breathing heavy against Blaine’s mouth, and his hips are slowly beginning to pick up speed. It’s smoother than when Blaine fucked her, but Blaine had been on-edge for a long time, and Kurt’s already come once, so she guesses that’s the difference.   
  
Finally, panting, Kurt detaches himself from Blaine and props up on his elbows above her, his pupils blown. “Oh _god_ ,” he gasps, “this can’t leave the room, but fucking _hell_ , Rachel …”  
  
She smiles, proud of herself, and now it’s Blaine leaning down to kiss her _._  
  
“Rach, can I try something?” he asks.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I - want to touch you. Like Kurt touched me earlier.”  
  
“Um -”  
  
“I promise I won’t hurt you,” he says gently, brushing her hair out of her face.  
  
“Oh god you should let him,” Kurt says in a rush, his hips pumping harder. “It’s - shit, Rach, it’s something you need to experience. Let him try.”  
  
She pauses, thinks about what a stretch it must have been for both of them to get here, and nods her head. “Okay. But - if it hurts, you’ll stop, right?”  
  
“Of course I will.” Blaine kisses her forehead, grabs the lube.  
  
Kurt’s hips stop moving as Blaine crawls over beside him, his hand wandering down, over Rachel’s clit, squeezing at the base of Kurt’s cock where it’s just emerging from her opening, making him moan and shudder. Blaine’s hand moves down, down, back to where fingers have never been before. The cap of the lube clicks open, there’s a soft pressure, and then he withdraws his hand.  
  
“Okay,” Blaine says, his voice steady. “It’ll feel cold at first, and it might feel a little strange.”  
  
She holds her breath. It tickles at first, his finger, just tracing around the outside of her - well, she’d rather not think about it, just wants to feel, and - oh. _Oh._  
  
It stretches, a different kind of stretch than Kurt’s cock is doing, but it’s not bad, and then Kurt’s hips move and he slips out just a little, then plunges back in.   
  
“ _Oh_ ,” she sighs, her hands coming up to hold her own knees, splaying open for them both.   
  
She feels - she doesn’t even know, she just _feels_ , and as she stares up at them, Kurt’s face morphing back and forth between twisted and slack, Blaine’s forehead furrowed in careful concentration, she feels so, so taken care of, and she wants _more_. She’s never done this before, never even thought about it, but _god_ she wants to explore it, wants to see what it will do to her.   
  
“You okay?” Blaine asks, but he’s not looking at her, and she can see awe in his face as he watches Kurt’s cock move in and out of her.   
  
“So good.” She shifts her hips, and they both slip deeper into her. “ _More_ ,” she whines as she lets go of the back of one knee, her fingers going straight to her clit as her leg curls around Kurt’s back.   
  
She can tell Kurt’s trying to hold still as Blaine slowly pulls his finger out, but even with his efforts, he’s still rocking gently back and forth, and she’s _so_ glad, because god, that feels good. She hears the squelch of more lube, and Kurt actually does stop moving for a second, and oh _shit_.  
  
“Breathe, Rachel,” Blaine says as she looks at him with wide eyes, his fingers breaching her, stretching her, pressing in slow and steady. “Two is a lot more. Just give it a second.”  
  
It doesn’t hurt, not really, but it’s so _much_ \- she feels like she’s being stuffed too full with too many things at once, and she’s not sure if she likes it. But then Blaine’s fingers move to fuck her slowly, carefully, and that helps a _lot_ , actually, the moving, and then Kurt’s hips go again, and - _fuck_ , it feels _good_.  
  
She realizes she’s moaning, her finger rubbing hard at her clit, and Kurt presses in harder with his cock. “ _God_ , Rach …”  
  
The longer it goes on, the better it is, and _Jesus_ this is the best sex she’s ever had, ever. It’s because there are two of them, and enough hands and dicks to touch everything that wants to be touched, and oh god, _everything_ wants to be touched right now. It’s sparking some sort of electricity between her legs, all over, she’s never felt so _much_ before, and the sounds she’s making she’s not going to want to remember in the morning.  
  
She’s going to remember it for _days_. _Months_ , even. (Maybe _years_.)  
  
She opens her eyes to see that Blaine has moved a little, sort of adjacent to Kurt, and they’re kissing above her, open-mouthed and wanton, and how they’re doing that and still moving in her she can’t possibly understand. Kurt seems to be coming apart a little. He’s sweating, moisture glistening on his skin, and his hips have that sharp snap thing going on that Blaine’s were doing earlier, and fuck yeah, that’s really working for her.   
  
She moves her hips to meet his, thrust for thrust, and he’s cursing now, loudly, and Blaine’s fingers feel so fucking _good,_ and - oh god.  
  
Blaine’s grunting - “ _Fuck,_ Kurt, _god_ ” - and he braces himself better and grabs the lube. He taps on Kurt’s arm, and Kurt shifts, taking it from him, squeezing some into his palm.   
  
And then she almost loses it at the sight of him, cock in hand, leaned up against Kurt for support. Blaine’s whispering Kurt’s name as he jerks off with his eyes closed.   
  
“Oh my god, _Blaine_ ,” she breathes, and his eyes pop open.   
  
“Sorry, I just -”  
  
“No, don’t, _god_ that’s hot.” She works her clit, lets go of her other knee, tugs on a nipple. “Kurt,” she says, “I want you to fuck me like you fuck him.”  
  
He makes a noise, something entirely otherworldly, and begins pounding into her, and oh _hell_ , she’s so close. Blaine’s cock, hard and red and dripping, is hanging right over her, and somehow his fingers are still pumping in and out, and _Jesus, fuck_.   
  
“ _Shit_ , Rachel,” Blaine grunts, and Kurt’s lips meet his again in a dirty, dirty kiss, and Kurt shudders; she can feel it.   
  
He’s going to come. She knows, and she hooks both legs around his waist, her left thigh hooked between Blaine’s arm and Kurt’s side, and tugs, clenching hard around him.   
  
He sings against Blaine’s mouth and comes with a jolt that she can feel in her stomach, in her legs, all over her. He rocks in and out, riding it, she can feel his cock pulsing inside her, and her hand flies on her clit and Blaine is _losing it_ and she very nearly blacks out.   
  
She doesn’t black out, exactly, she just loses all sense of time and space as Blaine groans and wet-warm come splashes on her stomach, all the way up to her breasts, and it’s a slick sort of heaven as she rubs it over her nipple. “Oh _god_ ,” she cries, working her clit, spreading more come around on both breasts, and she doesn’t even care how _dirty_ she’s being. She looks up, sees Blaine and Kurt kissing like there’s no tomorrow, Blaine’s cock fucking into his fist, and all of it together pushes her over the edge. She shouts out her orgasm, clenching around Kurt’s cock, still inside her, and Blaine’s fingers. Her body holds them tight, doesn’t want to let them go, wants that feeling to stay forever.   
  
She comes and comes and comes, her body _quaking_ with it, and when she finally stops, all she can hear is ringing in her ears. She opens her eyes as Blaine draws out his fingers.   
  
“Jesus _Christ,_ ” he pants, stumbling up and falling on the bed, half on top of her.   
  
Then Kurt grunts a strangled, “ _Fuck_ ,” and hauls himself up and out of her, and she’s empty.   
  
She reaches out, latches onto Blaine, come and all, as Kurt ties off the condom and flings it to the floor. Then Kurt curls against her back, his cock still slick with his own come, and she succumbs to the sleepy hormones that swim in her veins.

* * *

  
She’s not sure how much time has passed, but sometime later, Rachel feels a hand on her shoulder, and a hushed voice saying, “Rach, wake up for a minute.”  
  
She grunts a little, rolls over on her stomach.   
  
“Rachel.” The voice is more insistent and she cranes her neck and cracks her eyes open.   
  
Kurt’s face comes into view. “Here, sweetie, sit up for a second.” Two more strong arms cradle her, helping her prop up a bit, and she feels a soft washcloth, wet with warm water, sweeping across her chest. He’s gentle with it, careful of her breasts and her nipples, and she’s never been handled like this before. It’s how she thinks floating on a cloud would feel.   
  
He puts the washcloth away, and holds a glass in front of her. It smells like juice.   
  
“Drink that,” Blaine’s voice comes soft in her ear. “Then you can sleep.”  
  
“Not thirsty,” she says, but realizes her mouth’s as dry as cotton and she’s trembling a little. “Okay.”  
  
Kurt brings the glass to her lips, tips it just enough for the sweet liquid to flow into her mouth, and she realizes it’s the orange pineapple juice she’d gotten the week before. She drinks slowly, savoring it, and when it’s gone, she falls back against Blaine’s chest.   
  
“Can I sleep here?” she asks, bleary-eyed.   
  
“‘Course you can,” Blaine answers, pulling the covers over all of them as Kurt climbs in beside Rachel.   
  
Curled there, content and warm, she eases back into sleep with Kurt’s arm draped over her waist and her hand on Blaine’s stomach.

* * *

  
Morning light. Warm, smooth skin against his chest.  
  
Kurt opens his eyes; snow’s coming down, a light flurry outside his window.   
  
He shifts and Rachel sighs against him, curls closer, tugs at Blaine.   
  
He drifts away to the quiet land of dreams again.

* * *

  
Rachel’s up.   
  
“My god, I’m _starving_!” she exclaims, sitting up and pulling blankets with her. Blaine grunts unhappily, grapples for the comforter drifting too far down his body, exposing him to cold.  
  
Kurt blinks, sleepy, on the other side of the bed, smiles at him. Blaine reaches out his hand behind Rachel’s bare back and feels Kurt’s fingers land in his palm. All he wants to do is cuddle.  
  
“We should go to brunch!” Rachel says, and four hands grab her two arms, Blaine on one side and Kurt on the other, to pull her back down to the bed. Blaine smiles over her at Kurt, content to know that yeah, they’re _really_ on the same page.  
  
“Cuddles first,” Kurt says strictly, “brunch later.”  
  
Blaine reaches over Rachel to get to Kurt, and wow, boobs are lots more awkward in daylight, when he’s sober and not really turned on.  
  
But Rachel sighs contentedly between them and Blaine can’t bring himself to hurt her feelings, not after last night. So he scoots up in the bed, tucking his chin on top of her head, and Kurt does the same and they share a sweet kiss. Blaine murmurs his love against Kurt’s lips as Kurt strokes a hand through his hair, and they bump noses before sliding down and each planting kisses on Rachel’s cheeks.

* * *

  
Later, when they’re finally out of bed and dressed, and the sheets are in the wash in the basement, Kurt and Blaine share a huge piece of quiche while Rachel sips on a smoothie, flexing and extending her sore legs.  
  
“So,” she starts, feeling awkward. “That was fun.”  
  
“Mmm,” Kurt says, and shares some secret look with Blaine that Rachel doesn’t know how to translate. Their language is entirely their own, but even when she can’t understand it, she can see how beautiful it is.  
  
“But … it’s not going to become a _thing_ , is it?”  
  
Blaine looks up. “A _thing_?”  
  
“You know. A _thing_. That we do. Because -” She pauses, blushes, looks down at her smoothie. “Well, if I do much more of that, you guys are going to ruin me for all other men, ever.”   
  
“I don’t think it’s going to be a thing that we _do_ ,” Kurt says. “But - I’m not entirely opposed to having it as an option. Sometimes. Just - for fun, you know?”  
  
Blaine grins widely, nudging him on the shoulder. “You _liked_ it.”  
  
“No shit, Blaine,” Kurt says, blushing furiously. “I mean, it didn’t _turn_ me, but I came my brains out twice, didn’t I?”  
  
“Mmm, so did I, but Rachel’s got us both beat on that count,” Blaine smirks, and she kind of wants to crawl under the table. It’s so much more awkward, talking about it in the daytime at the table.   
  
“True, you lucky little minx,” Kurt says, sliding his bare foot across hers. “Next time - if there is a next time - we’ll have to get out that vibrator of yours and see what you can really do.”  
  
“Oh my god you did not just say that,” she says, burying her face in her hands.  
  
“What? If I could have unlimited orgasms, I’d take full advantage,” Kurt says.  
  
“If you could have unlimited orgasms, I’d never let you leave our bed,” Blaine nearly growls, his arms sliding around Kurt’s chest, his lips latching onto his neck.   
  
“They’re not _unlimited_!” Rachel squeals, and both boys look at her.  
  
“Have you ever tested it to see?” Kurt asks slyly.   
  
“Well, no, but -”  
  
“Until you do, I consider them unlimited,” he says with an air of finality.   
  
She drops her head to the table next to her glass. “Can we talk about something else, please?”  
  
“Hey, chin up, Kurt’s just jealous,” Blaine says. “So am I, for that matter. Just - one request, and then I promise we don’t have to talk about this any more.”  
  
She lifts her head up. “Yeah?”  
  
“It’s just - in spite of what you might believe, you’re a really gorgeous girl, Rach, and you’re, uh, quite _talented_ , in lots of areas.”  
  
“You give better head than I would’ve ever believed,” Kurt interjects, and she smiles.  
  
“Right. So - you’re really sexy, and you’re _clearly_ good in bed if you can get two gay guys to come _twice_ while having sex with you and - I don’t know, I just don’t want you to waste it on some jerk, just because you want a boyfriend. You’re too special for that, and you’ve got too much to offer. So - hold out for somebody good, okay?”  
  
Rachel’s eyes are misting. “Oh, Blaine,” she says, reaching for his hand across the table. “That’s so sweet of you to say.”  
  
“It’s the truth,” Kurt says, smiling the smile he’s always reserved especially for her. It’s different from his Blaine smile, different from any other smile she’s ever seen him give. It warms her heart to see that sex hadn’t changed that between them.   
  
“You guys,” she says, swiping her fingers under her eyes so her freshly-applied mascara won’t run. “I love both of you, you know that, right?”  
  
“Yeah, Rach, we know,” Kurt says, and he comes around the table to wrap his (strong, strong) arms around her and kisses her on the top of the head. And she knows then that it’s not going to become a _thing_ at all, that everything is going to be fine.


End file.
